Tonight's post is impulsive, unplanned, and ultimately inspired by a recent post on YogaByCandace
It had taken me a while to even begin to work on loving myself.
I never realized just how important self-love is until it was pointed out to me how I frequently put myself down.
I have amazing role models. Some of the friends I have met in high school were confident and courageous and beautifully carried their own skin with pride- and I wanted to do that too. So why couldn't I? What was I waiting for?
Those same friends inspired me to love myself inside, every challenge I overcome, and be proud to rock my "outer shell."
I was lounging about in bed feeling crummy (is that an acceptable word to use?) yes, crummy about myself. Knowing I need to exercise more, knowing I shouldn't have eaten those Insomnia Cookies when I shouldn't be eating gluten, knowing I shouldn't drink a Coke when I don't even really like soda in the first place. Knowing I need to stop picking at my face. I get so anxious and I hardly realize I'm doing it until I look in the mirror feeling ashamed. So yes, as I was feeling pretty lousy and unmotivated I scrolled through my twitter account and came across a link to a YBC blog post. Candace wrote a post about the importance of self-love. She wrote about what she loves about herself, without fear of sounding "conceited" and just to honor herself without input from another.
After reading, I felt motivated to do the same. Last week, in an interview, I answered a question by beginning my sentence with, "I don't want to sound like I'm bragging but-" First off..I tend to talk about my flaws more than my successes, and I am often worried of what people think of me. "Bragger" has never been a descriptive word for me..so why did I feel the need to clarify that? I realize, by doing so, I am also minimizing my worth. Maybe it's just who I am, and some people just don't like attention. That's okay. However, I need to give myself some curtesy. Despite my flaws, despite what anyone else thinks about me, because what I think is what matters.
I love my smile, and I love to smile. I love my eyebrows. I love my height and my curves. I love that I'm a good person. Sometimes- that doesn't feel like enough, but it is. I know that I have a big heart, and though it brings up a lot of emotions for me, I wouldn't wish to change it. I love my laugh, even when it's 'unattractive' because it makes others laugh as well! I love how I can entertain myself, even when I am alone. I love my attitude. I love my resilience. I love my honesty.
Sometimes we need little reminders from others to push us back in the right direction. In my case tonight, reading a blog post before bed. No more poo-pooing on my weight, and my occasional crappy college kid eating habits. I've gone back to yoga, I have new friends to motivate me, and I have much with myself to feel great about.
My last message to you all:
Continue to spread love everywhere you go. Start with yourself.
A Boston social work student, using writing for healing. Sharing the peaks and valleys of an empath's mental health journey.