Yesterday's date is one I am going to keep on the calendar. June 21, 2016. I could not have had a better day.
Almost 2 weeks ago I became interested in contributing an article to my favorite blog site, MindBodyGreen. I read the terms in order to submit an article, and I just rolled with it. I chose a topic that was important to me and wrote an article (possibly) within 30 minutes. I went to my email and sent it off. That was all.
It was fun for me to try. I knew it was a popular site and that my chances were not too big in getting published on there.
I am known for getting my hopes up- always. I guess that also contributes to my insecurities regarding self doubt. I am afraid to be let down, so I prepare myself to be disappointed. Wonderful confidence tip, right?
This time, I had zero expectations. I almost preferred it that way, and I wish I could take more things in my life with that same perspective. I wasn't contemplating the what-ifs or worrying about not being good enough. I wasn't even expecting what would happen if I ended up being published. Days went by and graduation was approaching and I honestly forgot all about it.
Yesterday morning I woke up at 7 am. Usually when I wake up on days with zero responsibilities, I check my phone. I check the time, my social media notifications, emails, and then I go back to sleep.
When I checked my email, I had to blink a couple times to be sure I was reading it correctly. The editors from MindBodyGreen published my article??? What? I smiled HUGE, and knew there was no way now I was going back to sleep. My mom was still home and about to leave for work, I ran downstairs and told her about my publication in a hyper stream of chatter.
Throughout the day, I was receiving loads of support from family, friends, my past teachers, and even strangers. My article currently has 629 shares !! Insane!
I take pride in my own courage. I willingly shared some of my personal challenges, but all the feedback has been positive. It is a reminder of why I am doing this.
You cannot grow by remaining within your comfort zone.
My cousin shared the link to my article in a Facebook post and said: "We all have very different ways for expressing ourselves, whether it's through art, music, etc...But for many of us, it can become frustrating when thoughts become trapped and you can't figure out how to let them out. My cousin Haley began writing blogs simply for herself. Simply to let out feelings she felt were not even really that important to anyone else. Now, her simple advice has been published and overnight it has already inspired the possible thousands of people who have read it. I think everyone can relate to reading her post whether they suffer with mental health or not."
It is amazing to hear, but also very true. Months ago I was submitting anonymous articles to the school paper, and now I'm officially out there. To think this all began with private vomit journal of my worries..
I told myself when I got out of the hospital I was going to make some major changes. One of them was to no longer hold things back that inspire me.
I'm alive and I'm here, so why not take risks? Why not take chances? I want to see what I can do and what I can learn with this life I am choosing to live.
What will I write about next? :-)
A Boston social work student, using writing for healing. Sharing the peaks and valleys of an empath's mental health journey.