The latest with me is that I applied for the Bridge program at my college.
If accepted, (I really have no idea how it works) my move-in day will be 2 weeks earlier than planned.
So why would I want to do that when I could have a longer summer?
The purpose of the program is to give new students a chance to have a head-start in the college process and to become adjusted before Orientation week.
I personally, feel as though I am ready for college. I am not scared of the changes and the demands. I'm fairly prepared. However, I know myself pretty well and I do take longer than others to fully adjust.
I'm the girl that's quiet and awkward until I get to know you (or trust you) and then I am the crazy, talkative, bubbly, (yet still awkward) girl.
Besides socially, in school it is the same. When I am placed in a new environment I am anxious and uncomfortable until I know my surroundings well.
When I toured my college my mom was laughing (more in surprise) at the fact that my worries were not "normal." Afraid of a roommate? No. Afraid of moving to a city? Nope. Afraid of being homesick? Nah. Instead, I was afraid of the dining hall. Just standing there made me want to cry. Grabbing food surrounded by tables and booths? People watching me? What if I drop something? Who do I have to talk to? My second fear, the classroom. I only saw one for an example and I must've looked pale while the tour guide was talking to me.
It was a discussion setting. A circle table. I hate circles. In English class in high school we would have to sit in a circle when discussing a book. One student speaking at a time. Everyone staring at each other. I hated it.
I know that by attending a small, discussion-based college, I will eventually overcome (hopefully) my social anxiety, and improve my social skills and confidence with public speaking.
As for the Bridge program, that is why I applied..
To have 2 weeks ahead of the game to gain comfort and ease anxieties before being thrown in with the rest of the pack.
I have learned this year that it is okay to not act so tough all the time.
Normal me would bite my lip and try to follow the crowd and pretend I am calm and fearless.
I would much rather take my own routes, advocate for myself, and prepare ahead to minimize my anxieties instead of ignoring the coping strategies and resources around me.
If I'm not accepted, I know I will still be okay.
But I really do I hope I am ..
A Boston social work student, using writing for healing. Sharing the peaks and valleys of an empath's mental health journey.