why this empath booked herself a bikini shoot
I wanted to share a shorter post that is very important to me.
Let's talk about image.
A little backstory:
My insecurities with my image began after I was diagnosed with various health conditions at a young age. With Hashimoto's Disease, my immune system decided my thyroid was the enemy. When you are 14 and your hormones are already at wack, it is not exactly icing on the cake to have your metabolism come to a halt and see the weight gain, despite how active you are. Around the same time, I had recently recovered from two heart procedures and was told I could not do sports like I used to.
I shamed myself when clothes no longer fit me right. I compared myself to others. I was embarrassed for not being able to "work out." I was confused as to why I seemed bigger than my friends.
And years later, after my all time low in 2016, I made it my goal to work on loving myself.
It has been work, but it has been rewarding.
Instead of criticizing my image, I honor my body for all it does for me. My legs take me places my heart wants to go. My core is what centers me, keeps me grounded. My arms allow me to give great hugs.
Being healthy and happy is what is most important to me.
I am not alone. I believe we all have our own personal journey when it comes to accepting ourselves.
Before leaving for Hawaii, a friend sent me a link to an Airbnb experience that one of her friends was hosting in Oahu. A swimsuit customization, and photoshoot for Blithe Bikinis, hand-crafted in Hawaii. I appreciated how the business welcomed all body types, and focused on having fun and feeling good in a suit that is the best fit for you.
I just thought, why not? And....click. Did I really just book a photoshoot for swimwear? Me !?
My comfort zone has become a temporary space.
And this "me" isn't really that different.
She [still] doesn't crave the spotlight, or typically enjoy it.
But she knows that sometimes she does deserve it.
On the day of I was asked, "Is there a guy back home you are doing this for?"
"No, I'm doing this for me!"
I got a high five.
In that moment, it became real that besides the photoshoot, I have allowed myself to do things "for me" in many aspects of my life. While remaining selfless!
And I did not always know how to do both.
Give myself the love and attention, I so freely give to others.
Sometimes I am still not sure how to balance the two, but I know I am worth it, and that is the best place to start.