Today has been all about mindfulness.
Despite the fact that I did not sleep at all last night over nerves about my first college test (which I ended up doing well on), I have had a beautiful day.
Sometimes- there doesn't need to be a reason to be happy. I am happy today. I am overwhelmed with this beautiful feeling of light, and if you asked me why- well, why not?
Last month was Suicide Prevention Month, and this week is Mental Illness Awareness Week. As you should know by now, I am very invested in these awareness dates. I take my time and look up quotes, watch inspiring videos/documentaries, listen to absolutely beautiful songs, try to educate myself, smile with the pride I have in the importance of mental health, and well..sometimes..I just cry.
I call it my "dork tears" if you haven't heard me say it before. I become so invested in my feelings every single day. When the discomfort, worries, or anything gloomy disappears, I am overwhelmed with the beauty around me. I just appreciate feeling well. Today I rolled over on my bed and said with a giant smile on my face, "I'm so emotional right now!!" My confused suitemate in mid-conversation said, "why? because I just said sprinkles-?" "No, I'm just SO happy it feels SO good." My roommate said, "STOP you're so cute." (She meant DORK.) I was truly bringing myself to tears.
I've been in my room on my laptop watching The Voice auditions. The ones that struck me the most as beautiful or heart warming leave me goosebumps at the turn of a chair. I have just been taking in my love for the show, and the music, looking out my window at the hustle and bustle of the city life, and started to get all teary eyed again.
Just taking in this thing called life.
Mental health is so important. When your mental health is well taken care of, you are far ahead in the game of living a happy life. Sometimes- I get very very upset. I think about the stats. 1 in 5 is struggling with a mental illness. I think of the hurt that so many people suffer with that is absolutely invisible, and I just want it all to stop. For everyone. Today, on this mindful and good day of mine, I want everyone to feel this way.
I consider myself a mental health advocate. On top of that, I am known by my peers to post a lot of quotes that bring perspective and joy, and acknowledge national holidays that many people forget about. I will gladly go on awareness walks, hang up posters, make self-help crafts, etc. This passion/drive/interest of mine seems to be my calling. I am content with my goal to be a social worker, and as much as I have struggled with self-doubt in the past..I am confident I will be a great one.
Today I was reading 2 powerful articles by Candace Moore. She is someone I can picture as a role-model. For those of you who don't know who she is..
When reading her blog posts I found myself asking 2 questions:
Who am I? & Who do I want to be?
The "who I am" part I am pretty sure I have down.
But who I want to be..?
Some of these qualities/wishes I may already have on track, but these are things that come to mind. I get to decide the person I want to become. You can too.
"Take a moment-
a single moment
on where you are
and where you want to be."
Here' s a look into the life of a living contradiction! Welcome Welcome! Just a college girl trying to create a peaceful life while managing irrational anxiousness. :-)